The Curious Case of the Oddly Fragile Software Engineer

Earlier in the week, I happened to come across this article on Substack. It was titled The Manager I hated and the lesson he taught me by one Stephane Moreau. I was immediately intrigued because I am a software developer and I've worked for people I hate.

Well, actually, hate is a strong word. It's hyperbolic. Do I like them as people? Not at all. Do I wish physical harm or financial ruin on them? Not really either, no. In all fairness, if they were on fire, I might hesitate only a full five seconds before rushing over to help them like a decent human being by stamping on them as hard as humanly possible - to put the fire out, you understand.

When someone's on
fire, stamp on them.

Most of all, I'm a proponent of the idea that you can learn things even from people you don't like. Sometimes especially from people you don't like. Like, how many of such people have I learned from, how not to be a jackass? Countless!

But I digress...

The intention today was to discuss Stephane Moreau's thoughts on the manager he hated. His larger point I have no issue with - what I found really interesting was his description of what caused him to hate that Manager.

From what I saw, it started with a code review in which the Manager had this to say.

Over-engineered. Too many moving parts. Refactor.

This seemed pretty straightforward to me. A statement, an explanation, and an instruction, all in three short sentences. Moreau, however, didn't think so. This is what he had to say...

That was it. No "nice work". No "good attempt". Just a hard stop.

I sat there, fuming. I thought, "Does this guy enjoy tearing people down?"

Getting shot down.

Gee, I dunno. This seemed a bit much. I thought the Manager's comments were clear enough. What had Moreau been expecting, an essay? I didn't understand the part about "tearing people down" either. In fact, I feel like if the Manager had prefaced it with "nice work" or "good attempt", it would have felt patronizing. Which is perhaps worse than being curt. I don't need to be treated like I'm special. I do need to be treated like a professional, and that cannot happen if the Manager is feeling the need to (metaphorically) pat me on the head and throw me a bone.

This is why I can't relate

There was another line which Moreau took exception to, and at times described as "brutal".

This is fragile. What happens under load? What's the rollback plan?

And this.

You're thinking like a coder, not an engineer. Build things that survive failure.

I have received feedback like this before from my then-CTO. I was told that I approached things like a coder, and he expected more. I had no problem with this feedback, and would not have described it as "brutal". 

What baffles me is that the only way the Manager could be seen as "tearing people down" was if Moreau had seen himself as being above that kind of criticism. And in contrast, I've never seen myself as anything but mediocre. Frankly, from reading Moreau's stuff, my perception of him is that he's a humble and chill kind of guy, so perhaps he was merely relating a story from when he was young and dumb.

Like a kid with crayons.

Know what's brutal? Having your work torn to shreds and being told you write code like a toddler who just got crayons. Outright questioning what you contribute to the company. That's what I got from the above-mentioned CTO. Honestly, if Moreau had received that kind of feedback, I wonder how he would have wilted. The entire article just made Moreau look fragile, like some kind of snowflake.

Perhaps the culture in the Southeast Asia is just a lot different from the UK. Perhaps the general problem is that we're just not such a warm, nurturing environment. Here in sunny Singapore, I have the memory of being conscripted into the Singapore Armed Forces at the tender age of 19, and being yelled at by platoon sergeants on my first day... and my first thought was: Bitch please. You're think you're scary? I have a Cantonese mom.

In summary

Moreau made a whole slew of valid points in his article. I don't actually disagree with any of it. What I do take issue with, is the examples he used. As far as I'm concerned, those weren't put-downs from his then-Manager. If he wants put-downs, I've got some really savage ones.

Nice work, TeochewThunder. Good attempt!
T___T