The Tragic Case of Izabel Laxamana

A couple weeks ago in May, a teenager in Tacoma, Washington, committed suicide by jumping off a bridge apparently after a public shaming video of her was posted up by her father on Instagram.

It's a tragedy on multiple levels.

If indeed the sole cause of her suicide was the video - which, in all fairness, cannot be proven at this point - it does seem a ridiculously tiny thing to end your life over. It's trivial, some say. It's insignificant. It means nothing in the larger scheme of things. Hair will grow back. The memory will fade with time.

All valid arguments, all logical. To an emotionally balanced adult, at least. But Izabel was freshly in her teens. And like the typical teenager - young, impressionable, vulnerable, filled with confusion and conflict, chock-full to the brim with barely manageable hormones. And the typical teenager cannot be expected to face these things the same way an adult would. Earlier this year, I posted a movie review for the horror film Unfriended. In my review, I mentioned that I could not wrap my mind around the fact that the suicide victim took her own life over what apparently was a trivial matter of a video of her which went viral.

I take that all back. As an adult, it was hard for me to understand. I had totally neglected the fact that the character in question was a teenager.

Also, let us take into account the scope of the shame. When we were kids, our parents probably disciplined us. Raised voices, harsh words, the occasional beating. And let me assure you, all respect to my long-suffering parents, it did me a world of good. You may feel differently. But my point here is that all of it was in private. Even if I was screamed at in public, the only people to take note of it would be those in the immediate area, who'd probably had the same experience growing up. Barely worth a second thought.

But this girl had her hair cut off, and the experience was shared with the world. A teenager having to deal with humiliation on a global scale.

Why does this interest me?

Yeah, well. This is a tech blog, right? Why am I blogging about the suicide of a teenager halfway across the world?

The reason is simple.

Along with the wonders of the Internet and how you can create really cool stuff with web technology, I'm also interested in how web technology is being used in this day and age. Social media, for good or ill, has its own entire sub-culture. The advent of the Internet has expanded everyone's world, and in the process, ironically, it has made the world a much smaller place.

It has also given us a great deal of power, and not everyone, least of all Izabel's father, handled that power wisely.

Should Mr Laxamana be charged for child abuse?

To what end? Assuming it could actually be proven that Izabel's suicide was directly caused by the video, does this constitute child abuse? Cyberbullying comes closest, and last time I checked, it was not a crime.

Mr Laxamana was merely trying to discipline his child. Unfortunately, he got a little too creative. Perhaps he was emulating some of the other parents who had gone that route before, one notable example here. All he's guilty of, at this point, is making a mistake that possibly pushed his kid over the edge. A mistake he will have to live with for the rest of his life. Charge him for child abuse? Let's not kick a man when he's down. It probably sucks to be him, right this moment.

(Editor's Note: Some of the comments and anecdotes in the comments section of certain articles hint at domestic abuse and bullying at school. But until those are proven, my opinion remains so.)

In contrast, here in sunny Singapore...

This is what people call "cyberbullying". Pathetic much?

It's not about who took suicide and who didn't. A bunch of people talking behind your back hardly constitutes "bullying". My friends are lovely, but I'm pretty sure they say things behind my back from time to time. Does anyone see me being in a hurry to claim the status of victim? Grow up.

That's not to say Singapore doesn't have a cyberbullying problem. STOMP, anyone? But that's another topic, for another day.

Moral of the story

Be very careful the next time you shame somebody on the Internet. Especially if that person in question is very young and fragile. Internet technology has certainly made this word a far richer place, in terms of culture and experience. It has built new bridges to human communication, but its misuse is a cause for concern.

Remember - virtual bullying, real consequences.
T___T