Five Freelance Client Red Flags

I've often mentioned that doing side-projects is a nifty way to hone your craft and earn some extra cash. Many web developers I've worked with, do it in some form or other. Through this, we also gain valuable experience; in particular, what kind of clients to avoid.

You see, there are some clients, whom, shall we say, aren't exactly ideal for your bank balance and sanity. Freelancers sometimes don't get much respect. These clients tend to forget that freelance does not equal less professional. In fact, a fair number of those doing freelance projects, like myself, hold a day job in the web industry. Also, and I may be speaking the obvious when I say this, some clients are just cheap. And clueless. Sometimes on an epic scale.

Here are some things to watch out for when speaking to a prospective client, red flags that should send your Spider-sense a-tingling and warn you to stay the hell away.

1. Denigration tactics

Some clients are openly dismissive of your value to the project. Coding isn't that hard, they claim, your price shouldn't be that high. I can hire foreigners to do it at half what you're quoting me. Yadda, yadda. And if you have the temerity to suggest that, since coding is so damn easy, they could do it themselves and not pay anyone to do it at all, they'll invariably claim that their time is better spent elsewhere.

So easy a baby could do it?

They are partially correct. To the seasoned professional, coding isn't that hard. But since when has the difficulty of a task determined its monetary value? I daresay the average roadsweeper sweats a great deal more than the average CEO sitting in a comfy air-conditioned room signing checks. Who gets paid more?

Such clients are not only cheap, they are insulting. Avoid. Better yet, burn the fucking bridge and don't look back. Once the prospective client starts asking me to justify my price, my typical response is to flatly refuse to do so, and wish them luck in finding someone who will do it at a price they deem reasonable.

2. The Equity Monster

There are the clients who try to offer you equity in place of cold hard cash. I'm not going to even attempt to sugar-coat this - ideas are worth nothing. Ideas implemented well are worth something. And until that idea is implemented, even if it is staggeringly original or groundbreaking, it is worth precisely that - nothing. It's easy to promise you a percentage of nothing. 10% equity of what amounts to so much hot air, is still pretty much jackshit.

Do the math. Still zero!

Sure, there could be ideas that hold so much potential that you think it's worth the risk of doing a whole lot of work for the mere promise of greater fortunes down the road. I've been in that position. But you are a web developer, not a businessman. This isn't your area of expertise. Know your limits.

Also, if the client is so damn sure his idea will be such a humongous cash cow, why would he be so hasty to offer you equity instead of money? Money's cheaper in the long run, right?

3. Exposure Dollars

Stop me if you've heard this one - actually, I'm just going to say it anyway. You may have come across this breed of client, a close cousin to the first point, who thinks you should be grateful to be doing this for him. It's a great opportunity to gain exposure and add to your portfolio, he says.

How's this for exposure, jackass?

This mofo would be right - if his brand is so well-known and so visible that working for him would instantly catapult you to the top echelons of the web industry. Chances are, he's been buying too hard into his own press. If the brand was so ironclad, he wouldn't be depending on freelancers to do this for free, would he? How would it look?

Again, hot air. Not just cheap, but condescending to boot. Avoid like the plague. The Oatmeal has a great comic about this. I've got nothing against people who can't pay. What I can't stand is people who can't pay and still want to yaya papaya.

4. As-and-when

And then there's the dude who does not seem to understand what software development entails. He'll agree on a fixed price for a vague concept of the final product, but doesn't want to give you all the requirements right away. Just get working first, I'll let you know if I think of anything else, he tells you. He doesn't realize that changes can and should come with additional charges.

Oops, I forgot to tell
you the last time...

Trust me, in most cases, you'll want to steer clear of this disaster waiting to happen. Every presentation, there'll be a couple more details which he just oh-so-conveniently forgot to mention the last time, some of which incorporating would mean redoing a sizeable chunk of whatever work you've done so far. Working for this guy will be a lifelong affair because the project will never be finished. A client like this could be deliberately pushing his luck, in which case you should avoid taking up the job. Or he could be genuinely unaware of the necessity of giving you all relevant details right from the start, in which case you definitely should avoid taking up the job.

Either insist on a deposit and make it clear that any changes requested not mentioned in the initial product specification will cost him, or just save yourself the trouble and dump this client pronto. Software development is a serious business. Unless you're getting paid for the changes you have to implement, this is a no-win situation.

5. Refusal to commit

You know the type - you name your price and he balks. You ask for a deposit and he tries to wriggle his way out of it. This may be genuinely not within his budget. Perhaps he's got his teenage nephew working on design, his wife doing the marketing, and so on. And no, not having money is not a crime.

Can't pay.

But honestly, if you're not confident enough in your business model to commit money to getting your ideas implemented right, maybe your business model just isn't as solid as you'd undoubtedly like to believe. A couple thousand dollars for code - if your idea is so damn awesome, wouldn't you earn it back in no time at all?

When a client displays such a lack of confidence, it goes without saying that you, too, should have your reservations.

Your Mileage May Vary

Sometimes these clients are your best mates, or people whose goodwill you value. If so, educate them. Friends don't let friends become the kind of clueless douchebags mentioned above.

But if that's not the case, these are clients you don't want to have. These are the clients you need to watch out for if you ever take the freelance route.

Be free of such freelance jobs!
T___T