Just about everyone seemed to be on it - ex-schoolmates, ex-colleagues, current colleagues, friends, relatives...
And thus I found myself creating an account and jumping into it with gusto. It's now 2018. It's been ten years of screwing around on this platform, and it's interesting to see what's gone on since then. In particular, I made quite a few observations about human nature, and made a healthy number of friends. There were also several Facebook-specific habits I picked up along the way and dropped as the years went by.
1. Year 2009
The first habit I dropped, relatively early, was regarding Facebook games. Now, at that time, Facebook games were hot and really good time-wasters - in fact, too good. My productivity went down a fair bit every time I was at a workstation. Sad to say, I didn't drop the habit of playing Facebook games in my first year. Hell, I might even have used my credit card to buy a few Facebook credits here and there. (I know, right?! Unbelievable.) |
| Paying for FB games! |
What I did do, was stop inviting those on my Friends lists to participate in them. At some point, it occurred to me that I was being a nuisance. If people wanted to join, they'd do so on their own goddamn time.
That particular habit dropped, this led to...
2. Year 2010
...dropping Facebook games altogether. Those were fun, and I made quite a few friends along the way - not just people on my Friends List, we actually met up and hung out - but who had time to sit around and play Facebook games all day when there was shit to do? I was between jobs then, and this was not a productive use of my time. |
| Not a productive use of time. |
Writing Notes was another practice I dropped pretty quick. At first, it seemed like a nice way to blog without actually needing to go to the trouble of setting up a blog... but after a while it started to feel pretty fucking pretentious.
3. Year 2011
Vanity. It was a full three years into Facebook that I stopped taking regular selfies. At that point, I think just about everyone on my Friends list knew what I looked like, and all the various permutations of my image over the last decade. Not being that much of a looker in real life kind made it all the more sweeter whenever I had a good picture of myself.
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| Look how pweety I am. |
But really, what's the damn point? This isn't some kind of beauty contest. And even if it were, I'm woefully ill-equipped for it.
4. Year 2012
At this time, the 2011 Singapore General Elections, followed by the 2011 Presidential Elections, had come and gone. I'd made a fair number of friends (on all sides of the political fence) through political debate, but the year following it began feeling a little empty. I began to realize that people weren't actually interested in a political debate - all they really wanted to do was push an agenda. They weren't going online to explore all perspectives. Rather, they just wanted to shout down all dissenting opinions while railing at the Government for suppressing their Freedom of Speech. |
| Keyboard rage. |
It was a mess. I decided to cut my losses and move on. Facebook was a hotbed of flame wars every hour. When I tried to be fair, invariably everyone thought I was "working for the other guy". And those who didn't, liked to accuse me of cowardice and "playing it safe" because I refused to take extreme stances. (I guess to people who don't have the intellectual capacity to appreciate nuanced positions, refusal to take extreme stances could be seen as cowardice.)
Besides, my parents were busy being paranoid over the Government targeting me for my less-than-complimentary posts about them. The things parents believe... but they're a product of their time and in their time, the political climate was based on fear. Who do I blame? The Government, naturally... but that's another topic for another time.
5. Year 2013
My Friends list had expanded beyond the boundaries of what I felt comfortable with. It was almost at two hundred - most of which I'd interacted online with or met offline at some point or other. I know, several people have almost a thousand, and two hundred is a pittance compared to that number. Still, this is my comfort level we're talking about, so please feel free to fuck off from my blog and brag about your humongous Friend List somewhere else. |
| Too many goddamn "friends". |
I stopped sending people Friend Requests just because I liked something they'd said, or an argument they made. And then trimmed my Friend list down to people I had actually interacted with, relatives and actual friends. This meant that most of the "friends" I'd made through playing Facebook games, got the axe.
This year also heralded a marked decrease in passive-aggressive Facebook Status Updates. You know those cryptic Status Updates that throw shade at certain people but somehow never name names? They started off as ways to drop heavy hints - return my goddamn money, stop being a dick, you-pissed-me-off-but-I-don't-feel-like-confronting-you-directly, etc. But then the wrong people started calling me out for it, believing I was talking about them. Whereas the ones I was really talking about were either too dense, or just utterly shameless.
Too much effort. Besides, it was lame. Habit dropped.
6. Year 2014
Even though I didn't comment much on the Singapore Government anymore, I was still saying stuff I didn't want my family (my mother, in particular) knowing about. The fact that I smoked like a chimney. Mad dashes in the rain. My non-traditional stance towards traditional Asian values, whatever they may be. I didn't want them to see my posts, and I didn't want them commenting on my Status updates, which could sometimes irritate me mightily. My sister was the only one who didn't annoy me, but since she was under the category "family", Facebook handily hid my posts from her too. |
| Family filtered out. |
Basically I stopped sharing these salacious little details about my life with people I truly gave a shit about.
The rest of the people on my Friends list? If they didn't like something I posted, they had the option of Unfriending, Unfollowing, or Blocking me. At worst, they could write on my Wall and make fools of themselves whining about my whining. Who gave a flying fuck about them, really?
7. Year 2015
This was the year I actively cut trimmed my Friends list and stopped indiscriminately accepting Friend requests from people who I had only interacted online with. Some claimed that they sent me Friend Requests because they liked the way I posted. My gratitude for the compliment notwithstanding, I decided to exercise a little discipline and save my sanity in the process. |
| Yay! I won a Facebook argument! |
This was also the year I stopped responding to flame bait. By this time, I was beginning to realize just how little of a shit I gave. People would make inflammatory remarks on my Wall after being triggered by something I said, and I would reply out of courtesy. But that was as far as things went. At some point, it would be obvious that they were only spoiling for a fight and indulging them was a time-wasting activity. Worse, it was beneath me. What's the value of a Facebook win? Zero. And honestly, if you disagree, if your self-esteem is somehow affected from some perceived victory over the Internet, perhaps your problems run far deeper than you suspect.
8. Year 2016
You don't get to change anyone's mind online. I learned after a few years on sites like Quora. It was fun trying to get people to see a different perspective and appreciate some nuance, but people get take it too damn personal when their beliefs are challenged. Too much effort for too little value. Not only did I stop engaging in political debate, I stopped engaging in debate, period. |
| Gym selfie! |
There was a time I did the watery version of Gym Selfies and posted Status Updates whenever I went to swim. It wasn't really meant to showcase what a healthy lifestyle I'm living; honestly I'm under no illusion that I'm any sort of Iron Man Competition candidate. I just posted updates because I felt like it. But people take it how they want to take it, and there may have been a wee bit of projection on their part.
So yeah, I stopped that practice. Not that I give a rat's ass what the the critics thought - I'd simply run out of new and original shit to write about doing laps in a pool.
9. Year 2017
Being woke and virtue-signalling - there was a time I felt this need to comment on current affairs and show the world I wasn't just a (barely) pretty face. It all changed in 2017.
This year was the year Donald Trump won the US Presidential Elections, and the sheer outcry online confronted me with how foolish this exercise was. Suddenly everybody had an opinion. Suddenly everybody wanted to vilify Trump. When I looked at Trump, I didn't just see a lousy President. No, I saw a huge (and easy) target for people to wank on as they intellectually masturbated their way to woke-dom.
Seriously, folks. I know Trump is a terrible President. Everyone and his dog knows Trump is a terrible President. You constantly harping on the fact that he is a terrible President doesn't make you look clever and informed. It makes you look desperate to appear clever and informed.
I get it. People want to feel like they matter. They want to feel like jumping on the anti-Trump bandwagon contributes to making the world a better place. Here's the thing, sunshine - talking is easy. Actually doing shit about the world's problems is hard, and often goes unsung. And all the people were showing me, via negative example, just how lame I'd been the past couple years. All around me were people trying too damn hard to show others that they had substance, like Facebook is just one huge self-promotional branding exercise. Boy, was I over that.
 |
| LGBT |
I still believe the LGBT crowd should feel free to marry whoever they want. I still believe that women should be taken seriously in tech, and that racism has no place in an enlightened society. I also believe that there's absolutely no need to constantly remind everyone of what I believe, as though that made me morally superior or something.
With the realization that Facebook just isn't meant to be taken all that seriously, I started weaning myself off deep meaningful posts. Instead, I'd make silly jokes and puns, post pictures of irrelevant crap and pretty much take the piss.
10. Year 2018
And finally, this was the year I stopped using Facebook Mobile. I may still check my Facebook every other night, but at least it's not a few times a day. And the truth is, I barely miss it. I mean, I used Facebook while it was within easy reach. But now that it's not, I find myself occupied with other things. Facebook has been a great distraction, but in recent years, it's not been a valuable distraction. Too much nonsense going on online. Facebook has become a place for really insecure people to hang out and collect Likes for personal validation. |
| Collecting Likes. |
Hey, I'm not judging (much). People need what they need. If Facebook Likes and Shares hold actual emotional value for them, who am I to say otherwise? You do you, boy and girls.
What a load off!
Not being bound to Facebook has been a strangely liberating experience. I highly recommend it. Suddenly I have all the time in the world to do other stuff. That is a trend that needs to continue. Also, my mobile data usage and battery life have improved tremendously. That's not a small thing, all considered.The recent Facebook privacy debacle could not have come at a better time.
Hope you Liked this...
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