Five Hilariously Unfortunate Names in Tech

Naming things is one of the hardest things in the tech industry. This shouldn't be surprising; naming things is one of the hardest things in the world, period. One runs into a whole host of problems such as accuracy, contradicting an already existing name for something else, and unintended meaning.

In the last case, this takes the form of unfortunate comedy, esepcially when seen through the lens of another culture. I think it's fair to say that the people who named these things in tech, never considered the Asian perspective.

1. Microsoft

This is the most ubiquitous and arguably the most boring name in tech. "Micro" and "soft". It's two words that appear in every other sentence in software technology, or in the case of the former, just technology, period.

Feeling a little...
soft?

Until you think of it as a descriptor for penis size. And from there on, insinuate that Bill Gates was overcompensating for something in the bedroom.

Unfortunate name? Yeah, it's pretty unfortunate.

2. Debian

Debian is touted as a "complete free operating system", but that's not what we'll focus on today. You see, this name gave me a serious case of the giggles when I first saw it, and that's because the word "debian" looks like "da bian", which is the romanization of the Chinese phrase for "defecate".

Number Two.

Yep. In mandarin, "xiao bian" is Number One and "da bian" is Number Two.

Non-Chinese will probably draw a blank as to why this one tickled my funny bone. So, the naming is not that unfortunate. I do wonder how Debian does in China or Taiwan, though...

3. Erlang

Erlang is a programming language, and that's all I know about it. Never touched it, don't think I'm likely to in the future.

And on its own, the name "Erlang" isn't really remarkable.

The deity Erlang
and his celestial
watchdog.

However, if you were brought up in a Chinese household with traditional values, chances are you'd have heard of the three-eyed deity "Erlang". The coincidence is not exactly unfortunate, but it is amusing.

4. MariaDB

MariaDB is a database. With an engine similar to MySQL, MariaDB and MySQL are often mentioned in the same breath.

Now, on its own, the name "Maria" is a beautiful name. Think "Santa Maria" or the Italian last name "DiMaria". However, in sunny Singapore, that name has racist connotations.

"Housekeeping!"

Yes, "Maria" is a derogatory term for "Filipina". Especially with regard to Filipino domestic helpers. Don't ask me why; I have not a solitary clue.

5. xAI

Let me begin by saying that Number 2 on this list can be a little far-fetched. It requires both the ability to speak Mandarin and a slight leap of imagination. But ask any Hokkien speaker how to pronounce the name of Elon Musk's pet Artificial Intelligence company, and you might get a snigger.

A really shitty coincidence.

You see, while "debian" can be taken to mean "defecate" in Mandarin, saying "sai" in Hokkien literally means "shit". Dung. Poop. Excrement.

Yep, this is absolutely unfortunate.

Conclusion

This is not to say that any of these companies should change their names. In the case of Microsoft, that name is long entrenched. In the case of the others, it's inevitable that whatever words you use, it's going to have a completely different meaning from what you intended in some other language. And sometimes, yes, these incidences are hilarious.

This is also why I object to censoring words just because they sound offensive in the English language. Considering the fact that there are thousands of languages in use in the world today, this is an exercise in futility. 

Till we meet again, xAI-yonara!
T___T