Film Review: I.T

Now with Internet of Things being a, well, thing, this movie was just begging to be made. I.T is a techno-thriller (no relation to the horror thriller, Stephen King's It) that lives up to its billing, albeit barely.

The synopsis sounded promising - rich dude pisses off tech support guy and techie gets his own back through an escalating series of IT-related pranks. Also, as an ex-desktop support office drone, I felt compelled to check this out. Plus, it starred Pierce Brosnan! How bad could it be?!

Well, I was about to find out...

Warning - many spoilers ahead and possibly objectionable content!

I'm going to shamelessly spoil this one, because the plot is so utterly predictable you could see every twist and turn a mile off. No shit; the plot could have been written by a primary school punk, it's that simple. Trust me, I'm doing you a favor and saving you the money.

Also, if profanities and partial nudity offend you, sod off from here, you oversensitive wanker.

The Premise

Mike Regan is the head honcho of a large tech corporation, husband to Rose and father to teenager Kaitlyn, whose troubles begin when he makes an enemy of his IT guy. His smart home, wired with gadgets of all sorts and run with computer intelligence, becomes a ripe battlefield for the wronged techie.

The pranks begin harmlessly enough with the sound system blaring music in the middle of the night, appliances turning themselves on and off, etc. But they soon progress to the malicious (falsifying evidence of corruption via forging emails sent from the company's server), the sadistic (falsifying Rose's mammogram report results and making viral a video of Kaitlyn diddling herself in the shower) and the outright psychotic (taking control of Mike's smart car while he's driving).

Mike needs to fight back, and does so by engaging his own security expert who helps him take his life back, bit by bit.

This culminates in a showdown as the enraged nerd breaks into his home with a gun...

The Characters

Pierce Brosnan as Mike Regan. Something of a technophobe who ironically owns a tech company and wants to launch the aviatory version of Uber. He has trouble with basic IT security and yet wires his entire mansion with all manner of gadgetry. He's portrayed as a bit of an asshole (Getting your IT guy to do free work for you on the weekend? Really?) who wears his power way too easily. Also, the first time Ed broke the employer-employee boundaries and the way Mike put him down, was unnecessarily high-handed. Made it hard for me to sympathize when the techie started getting his revenge. Still, he's also portrayed as a devoted family man who stops at nothing to protect his wife and kid. Pierce Brosnan's a fine actor with one hell of a resume. I've been watching him since his days as James Bond, and flicks such as Mrs Doubtfire and The Thomas Crown Affair. He projects the layers which make up Mike Regan, quite effectvely. Affable tycoon? Sure. Arrogant bastard? Oh yeah. Aplopetic rage? No problem. Loving husband and father? You know it. Alpha male? In spades, brother. Unfortunately, he's also let down by a really crap script.

Anna Friel as Rose Regan. Other than looking worried and fretful, she didn't have much to add to the plot. It wasn't too believable anyway. One moment she's greeting Ed cordially and next moment, she looks concerned when he shows up. Doesn't add up at all. The producers must have sensed this, because they seemed to be getting her to contribute more near the end of the movie, with gratuitous cleavage shots.

Stefanie Scott as Kaitlyn Regan, the bratty daughter. Having seen Stefanie Scott's restrained performance in Insidious: Chapter 3, I believe she can do way better. Why she would even bother with this movie is a mystery to me.

James Frecheville as Ed Porter. Guy overacts. To be fair, with a script this bad and a character this stereotypical, he might as well have fun and really ham it up. He did a credible job portraying dorky friendliness, cool intensity, neurotic fragility... and really ramped it up when putting on the "psycho face". Eye candy for the ladies - big on the jaw and kind of pale, but tall and well-built, a right pretty boy.

Michael Nyqvist as Henrik. He's the guy Mike turns to when he needs a tech security expert to counter the hostile actions of the geek he pissed off. And counter Henrik certainly does, with a composed, grandfatherly air reminiscent of Albus Dumbledore. I almost expected him to break out a wand at some point. Nyqvist is a pretty versatile actor and I rate him higher than even Brosnan in this cast. Which is why, though he nails the damn role with near zero effort, I can't help but think he's really slumming it here. This is the guy I watched in The Millennium Series, Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol and John Wick? He's far too cool for this shit.

When I was watching him, however, it occurred to me that he and Pierce Brosnan have something in common. Both have had movie franchise characters taken over by suave, macho Daniel Craig - in Nyqvist's case it's the role of Mikael Blomkvist in The Millennium Series, and in Brosnan's case it's the role of James Bond.

The Mood

This was supposed to be a techno-thriller. They got the "techno" part down, but the "thriller" part? Yawn city. The miserable excuse of an utterly unimaginative plot didn't raise my heartbeat a tick. All I felt was disgust. I didn't care what happened to Mike, Rose and Kaitlyn. Whatever, kill them all. They suck.

What I liked

Production was slick, man. Gorgeous visuals of the Regan home and the surrounding scenery, and the glass tower office. Insane lightning and grimy feel when around Ed's crummy apartment.

Michael Nyqvist was a welcome presence. He just somehow made everything less depressing simply by being there.

What I didn't

Ed being a psycho with a history of mental instability, abused as a child, etc. Real original, dudes. You think only psychos could pull this shit? Guess again, morons. The average computer nerd has the ability and connections to make your life utterly fucking miserable, given enough motivation. Sure, a non-psycho wouldn't (intentionally) put you in harm's way, but the rest of it? All too possible.

The progress of Ed and the Regans' relationship from trusted employee to outright hostility went too fast to be believable.

What's up with Kaitlyn's Stars And Stripes bikini? Gaudy much?

I'm supposed to believe that an old rich fuck could consistently beat up taller, younger and buffed dude?

Conclusion

Could have been better. Way better. For a movie that dragged on almost two hours and boasted a cast consisting of Pierce Brosnan and Michael Nyqvist, I sure expected a hell of a lot more than tech-guy-makes-dick-boss's-life-miserable-because-he's-a-nutcase. Again, save your money. Watch something more interesting... like paint drying or grass growing.

My Rating

4 / 10

This film needs to be de-fragged, pronto.
T___T