From Shell Scrapes To Shell Scripts (Part 1/2)

National Day for Singapore is coming up, and with it, we celebrated NS50 last month. For those not native to this land, NS50 marks the 50th anniversary of National Service, an institution of conscription for the Singapore Armed Forces. Like all able-bodied young men, I did my time some twenty years ago, and despite what some say about it (some of whom have never had to serve a day in their lives, I might add, but that's the nice thing about opinions; everyone has the right to one, relevance be damned) it was a valuable experience. Of course, your mileage may vary according to what you value.

Still, I found that the working world outside mirrored the Republic of Singapore Navy in certain ways. And in other ways... not so much. The transition from earnest combat seaman to equally earnest techie was awkward for the first couple years.

Similarities

Here are some habits I kept from my years in the military, or lessons and experiences that really prepared me for working life outside.

Chain of Command

The pecking order is reinforced strictly in the SAF, indeed, any military organization. If you have a problem, you go to the officer above you, not the officer above him. A certain Li Hongyi, son of Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong, broke that rule famously, albeit not without consequence back in 2007, and made quite the impression.

Observe the pecking order.

In the corporate world, nobody actually gets charged or even reprimanded for breaking the Chain of Command, but there are certain unspoken boundaries. Especially among people who have completed their National Service. If anyone goes above their immediate superior's head to speak to someone higher up, they're looked upon as unprofessional. And there might be a few scornful remarks to the tune of confirm never do NS before.

Everyone, know thy place. That's the rule.

On a somewhat related note, I've kept the same attitude towards my crew mates from the Navy. You have a job to do, I respect that, and I value you as a fellow crew member. But know your place, and don't try to act like my buddy. We are not friends. I might take a bullet for you, but more in the line of duty (and probably not out of choice) and certainly not out of any personal affection. Similarly, my colleagues are not my friends, and the only way colleagues can become my friends is if they first become my ex-colleagues. This rule is non-negotiable.

The consequence, of course, was that very few people I'd worked with actually liked me - but in a heartbeat I was the first one they would choose to watch their backs.

5BX

Those were the days when we'd drag our protesting carcasses down to the Parade Square, assemble and dutifully go through what was known as 5BX - Five Basic Exercises, designed to wake us up and prepare us for the day ahead. Did I say five? Well, there were rather more exercises than that - our instructors were pretty zealous.

Basic exercises.

I've found this to be one of the most valuable habits to keep. Sure, I don't wake up at 5am in the morning (what do I look like, some kind of masochist?!) but when the alarm clock rings, 5BX does the rest. Still lying on the bed, I start off with hip raises, which prevent me from falling right back to sleep. Sit-ups are next, and they do a nice job of waking me up even further. Just enough to roll off the bed, do some push-ups, followed by squats and lunges. And if you think lunges don't sound like much, try doing them when you're not fully awake.

Don't underestimate the 5BX. These exercises don't give me that beach-ready waistline or enviable muscle definition. They just get my blood flowing and keep me limber long enough to shower, shave, change, and catch the bus.

Workplace Safety

The Republic of Singapore Navy is fanatical about work safety, probably because most of our casualties occur from not from having bloodthirsty enemies rain bullets and missiles on us, but through accidents. An embarrassing statistic for a military outfit, to say the least. Trip over some loose gear, fall into the sea and drown? Get your skull crushed by a falling object because you didn't observe that hardhat rule in the shipyard? Get crippled because someone dropped a full ammo case on your bare feet? And why the hell were your feet bare in the ammunition bay anyway?

Well, back then and even now, the higher-ups enforced a very strict culture of workplace safety, and it's stuck to this day.

Stay safe at work.

I'm generally a laid-back guy, but I've been known to chew colleagues out for moving heavy-ass servers and UPSs while wearing sandals. I also remember a couple occasions when a visibly pregnant colleague tried to access files from a top shelf by standing on a revolving chair, in front of me.

Pregnant woman. Standing on a revolving chair. In front of me! Holy motherfucking Jesus!

Look, if people want to be reckless, that's their funeral, but do it at a place I work in within my line of sight, and it becomes my responsibility to stop you. I'm being neither kind nor dutiful; I'm conditioned. Kill yourself if you must, get into all the workplace-related accidents you want. Just not on my watch, bitches. Not today. Not ever.

Next

We'll take a look at the differences!