Yes I'm a Software Developer; no I won't fix your WiFi

Few things get my goat like being asked to fix someone's WiFi connection, repair someone's laptop or generally perform some kind of hardware maintenance. Normally, I'm a really chill kind of guy, but this is one of the things that is almost guaranteed to fill me with white-hot rage. Admittedly, that reaction is mostly due to some personal issues, but there are plenty of software developers who detest that kind of thing as well.

And today, I will explain why.

We're not hardware people

Web and desktop applications. Application programmer interfaces. Algorithms. We work with software. Wires, circuit boards and the lower levels of the seven OSI layers are not in our purview. Software is a totally different animal from hardware; and in this day and age there's absolutely no excuse for not knowing that elementary fact unless you're really young, really old, or just not the sharpest tool in the box.

Race car drivers are not
vehicle mechanics.

Expecting software developers to understand hardware just because "you work with computers" is like expecting a race car driver to be able to fix a car engine because "you work with cars". Sure, a race car driver could know enough to fix a car engine, but there's no reason why he (or she) has to know. It's a totally different skillset.

I don't consider this work beneath me; in fact I have nothing but respect for hardware professionals. Which really underscores the fact that where hardware repair is concerned, I'm not at all qualified.

Of degrees and qualifications

The argument often used is - you work with computers, even if Wifi isn't really your area, you have a better idea of how to do this than me. And that's not totally untrue. But it's not for the reason most people who say this, think.

You see, years of attending school and working in the software industry have taught us one skill that everybody else really should be learning - if you don't know something, look it up on the internet. It's 2021, folks. Google has been a thing for more than a decade!

Learn to search the internet!

Yes. Search engines. That's really all our so-called expertise amounts to. And if you can't even be bothered to search for information on your own problem, why the hell do you think you deserve our help? Entitled much?

It's not our job

Obviously, it's not a software developer's job to fix hardware issues. I think we've established as much. But for the sake of argument, let's say it was our job.

So what?

It's after hours. Just because something happens to be our day job doesn't mean we want to continue doing it after the workday is over. It's called work for a reason. We're in no way obliged to fix your hardware problems for you because you're not a paying customer. And if you were a customer, you can get in line like everyone else.

This is what we do.

Now, I happen to love writing code and I would write code even outside of office hours... for myself. For my own projects. Not for yours. But anyone who knows me, knows how much I hate working on hardware. I took a friggin' pay cut and restarted my career doing something else, so that I would never have to do it again. That's how much I hate it.

So if you were someone who knows just how much I detest fixing hardware because it reminds me of all the years I wasted in Desktop Support, asking me to do it just so you can save a few bucks is a totally dick move. Seriously, how do you sleep at night?!

In conclusion

Admittedly, if this post was written ten years ago, it would probably have been a lot more entertaining due to a constant stream of profanities. In the decade that has followed, much of my annoyance has abated.

Don't get me wrong; I still think arguments like "you work with computers, therefore you should know" or "you have a Bachelor's Degree in IT, therefore you can fix my WiFi" are really stupid. But I've also made peace with with the fact that people are stupid, and that's really their cross to bear, not mine.

Fix your own goddamn WiFi!
T___T