Eyes Off The Prize!

The state of the world in recent years had led to some reflection. And I realized, with some surprise, that I was doing well. Like, really well. I had my own place with no debt, I was somewhat happily married, I had a career drawing a decent paycheck that I didn't even need.

And that led to another spate of reflection. How did a software developer of middling skill and mediocre experience ever manage to pull it off, especially considering all the bad decisions I had made in my youth? One could always say I got lucky, but that's really the lazy answer. After some more reflection, I had an even better answer. All this good fortune had taken place because I did one thing.

This is going to sound really counterintuitive, but here goes: take your eyes off the prize.

What I wanted from life

There were some really specific KPIs to meet.

Firstly, I measured my income against the national median, and vowed to meet and exceed that. I wanted a comfortable income to enjoy myself. Have fun.

Being a beefcake.

Secondly, I wanted to be buff. I wanted to be in the kind of shape I had been in my teens and during my days in the military.

Thirdly, like many young men, I obsessed over the fact that no women seemed interested in me and wondered how I would ever get a girlfriend. Pathetic? Yes, very. But again, I was young.

What I ended up doing

The story of how I eventually became a web developer has already been throughly explored. Suffice to say, I went through ups and downs - job losses, bad decisions and lots of hard work. I worked for tiny startups and shitty employers. In between, I kept going back to school and learning new things because no matter how much I learned, it never seemed to be enough. It was years of struggle, and what kept me sane was that I was actually doing things I enjoyed.

As I grew older, I found that going without some kind of exercise at least once every forty-eight hours would give me headaches. My blood circulation was poor and sitting still for long hours would make my back and knees hurt. To combat this, I got into the habit of swimming laps.

A plan to die alone.

As for women, after a long string of failed relationships early in my thirties, I gave up on the idea altogether and just bought my own place, intending to live and die alone, bachelor-style.

Ten years later

After taking stock, it appears that I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams, mostly without even noticing until recently.

Exceeding Singapore's
median income.

I took a look at my income recently and tabulated it, formulating a chart (see above) to compare it against the national median income of Singapore. And the result was staggering. I had surpassed it eight years ago without realizing it. Along the way, I had stopped trying to get rich and just wanted to make an honest living, and this was the result. It certainly did not hurt that the years spent being broke had conditioned me to lead a very low-maintenance lifestyle. My idea of "fun" now involved going to the library and watching the occasional movie in a theater. Not only was I earning more, I was spending less.

The amount of exercise I had done over the years, averaging about five days a week, has done wonders for my physique. While I'm no Mr Universe, I look pretty good with my shirt off, even at my age. And I did it all without checking myself out in the mirror every morning, obsessing over my measurements or counting calories. The purpose of all that exercise had been to stave off the aches and pains of the life of a computer geek, not to look good. But I do look good... at least from the neck down.

And out of nowhere, I'm married. Apparently, the fact that I'm so boring and live such a simple lifestyle is extremely attractive to women of a certain demographic... specifically women who have no use for pretty boys and honeyed words, who appreciate men that they don't have to babysit. Men who can take care of their own shit. Because if a man can't take care of himself, the chances of him stepping up to take care of someone else, are slim to none.

Finally...

Perhaps it's not really accurate to say I took my eyes off the prize. It's more like I redefined what the prize was, and ended up living my life a certain way in accordance to the new definitions. Whatever I achieved were side-effects that closely matched what my original goals were.

Still, food for thought!

Stay eye-dealistic!
T___T