In defense of small steps

It was 1997. I was a Temasek Polytechnic student waiting to go into National Service. While hanging out at a running track (imagine, in those days I actually had knees that didn't creak.) I bumped into a schoolmate also waiting for National Service.

He told me he had been preparing for National Service by running three rounds around the running track every day. Three. That was 1.2 kilometers. I was baffled. I laughed in his face and said he might as well not bother. This was a pitifully short distance. What good would it do?

Running in preparation.

I know, I know, I was a jerk. And if I ever see him again, even if he's forgotten all about it, I really should offer him an apology. I'm a kinder, more evolved individual now and all. More importantly, I've spent decades as a web developer and it's not just compassion behind the apology - it's professional clarity.

The lesson behind this

The story here isn't about me saying stupid, needlessly cruel things like some empty-headed moron. I was nineteen, FFS. Saying dumb shit was par for the course.

No, the story is that, in my youthful arrogance, I was blind to the simple fact that everything begins with small steps. Everything. And years later, life would beat that lesson into me over and over. I would attempt a tech career in sunny Singapore. I would stumble repeatedly. Sometimes I would take a few steps forward only to be shunted one step back.

In many ways, life was not kind. It could have been worse, of course. A lot worse. But the fact remains that there were challenges. Challenges that weren't going to be navigated in a single bound. I was dismissed from jobs. Failed probationary periods. Screwed up at work. Joined companies that crashed and burned. Worked for exploitative bosses with the ethics of a swamp leech.

But you know what? It was OK because my failures were due to me actually trying. That was valuable. The thing about freedom, and having agency, is that you own all your success and your failures.

Moving slowly.

The thing is, I wasn't shooting up the corporate ladder. Sometimes I wasn't anywhere near any kind of ladder. It took a few (OK, several) iterations before my career got any kind of traction, and even then, it was a slow grind.

In retrospect, my career was like how software is typically written - iteratively. "Do it once, do it good" is music to the ears. Unfortunately, that's all it often is. The ugly reality is that software evolves. You start off with an MVP that gets fleshed out over time, and requirements are going to change. That's business. That's life, even.

What I know now

A new appreciation for small steps is one of the things I've gained. It's not about how big the step is. It's about the fact that the step is being taken at all. It's a statement of intent, and this can be powerful. Without even a small step in the right direction, you ain't getting anywhere, son.

Pretty much like my ex-schoolmate and his 1.2 kilometer run. A tiny step? Yes. Very tiny. But no less important. Because it was the intention that counted. And later on, whatever success he enjoyed in that area should be attributed to that intention.

It wasn't like he simply went on Social Media and talked about doing it without actually doing it. No, he was doing it when I encountered him. And what did I do? Minimized his efforts like a jackass, that's what.

Wishing for software.

I've come to understand the need to do things in iterations. Small incremental steps if necessary. And it's often necessary. Software isn't simply conjured out of thin air after verbalizing a wish, no matter what the likes of Jensen Huang or Elon Musk would have you believe. It follows a process of repeated refinement. A lot of eventual success is predicated upon simply showing up to do the work, and showing up consistently.

This has also manifested in my reading habits, and even my consumption of media. Before, I always felt the need to watch YouTube videos to the end. Finish the book I borrowed from the library. If I started on a TV series, I would binge it to the end.

No longer.

Now I understand that reading a book to the end, for example, means very little. It doesn't actually mean that I'm finished with it. I can always gain new insights from rereading it. Conversely, if it's not worth my time the first round, I can feel free to cut it loose without wasting any more time on it. Perhaps one day I'll find the motivation to get back to it... and if not, it's not a big deal. Basically, I no longer feel the pressure to finish things I started. Because the "finish" is ultimately artificial.

Just like software. Software is never "finished". It's only ready for shipping, but it will evolve in its lifetime.

Small conclusions

Be comfortable with small beginnings. Showing up is more important than showing up loud. "Go big or go home" is ego and stupidity talking, nothing more.

One small step for man...
T___T