Pokémon Go Fever

A new cringe-worthy craze has taken Singapore by the scruff of her neck for the past month, and consumed the hearts and minds of Singaporeans of all ages, from all walks of life. My Facebook feed and WhatsApp chats are filled with screenshots.

No, it ain't the Rio Olympics. It's a mobile app, and goes by the name of Pokémon Go.

And no, this is not an app review. That would involve me installing and playing it. Hell will freeze over before I install this sucker of memory and battery life on my mobile.

This hellishly addictive app.

Pokémon Go is an augmented reality game created by Niantic, who created the excellent Ingress  years earlier. While Ingress is also an augmented reality game and enjoyed a certain amount of success, its reach wasn't as mainstream as Pokémon Go. The cuteness of the monsters and the success of the original Pokémon franchise might have something to do with it, because for the life of me, I can't see what objective there is other than hunt, capture, and hunt some more.

As far as augmented reality games go, Pokémon Go certainly isn't the first. As mentioned earlier, it was preceded by Ingress. One of the earliest forerunners of the genre was SpecTrek which I've tried, but won't be reviewing either. Worthy mentions include Zombies, Run! (which I have installed) and Night Terrors which is next on my install list. Now, those might be worth reviewing. Watch this space!

From the day it was announced that Pokémon Go would be in Singapore, all hell has broken loose. Stories of near-accidents in traffic, vandalism and gangsterism are running riot through cyberspace. And it isn't just confined to Singapore, either. In fact, globally, it gets worse. Robberies have been reported, with the robbers making use of the app to lure unsuspecting victims. Actual accidents have happened.

In the startup I'm currently working for, the tech lead takes us out on Pokémon hunts during lunch break. Oh, the Pokémonity. Other companies aren't as generous, though, with some of my friends reporting that HR has sent out memos explicitly forbidding staff to play the game during their shift.

I recently went out for supper with the guys, and was absolutely flabbergasted when they started showing me their collection. You know things have gotten really sad when a bunch of 40 year olds whom you're supposed to be lepaking with over coffee, now take you on slow drives around the island to find gyms and hunt down these cute little bastards.

I remember the days where my buddies would irritate the living heck out of me by constantly sending me pictures of naked women, or videos of them performing assorted sex acts, through WhatsApp. Not because I have anything against porn - it's a lovely industry and creates jobs! - but because this crap occupies my storage until I take the trouble to painstakingly delete them. Those days are gone and I mourn them - because these same clowns have started sending me Pokémon pics instead. Some are even sending me Pokémon porn pics!

NSFW

Seriously dudes, what the fuck?!

The Silver Lining

It looks like Pokémon Go has at least gotten people to get off their arses and go for brisk walks under the blazing sun to hatch those Pokémon eggs (call me back when this stops sounding weird), though their posture and situational awareness still leaves a lot to be desired.

Some enterprising folks have actually started up businesses riding on the popularity of the game. From luring players to retailers and food stops, and even hiring out transport to visit Pokéstops.

And that's not even mentioning the sales from Pokémon merchandise such as toys, trading cards and accessories! While I'm on that, check out the Pokeburgs by Hashtag Burgers from the Land Down Under!

The marketing behind the phenomenon is worth a study. We have senior citizens playing this shit, for Chrissake.

When will Pokémon Go... away?
T___T